Sometimes I forget my age when people ask how old I am; I'll say I'm 23, no wait...I'm about to be 25. I've been blessed to travel more and see more of the world than most people do in their entire lives.
It feels like the years have flown since I graduated from Texas A&M, yet time has stood still since going on the Race. I've been home on and off for the past two years, so it seems as though things should be the same as when I left. I see friends with children and it doesn't register in my mind that they're actually their children; in my mind they are simply babysitting.
I adore spending time with my family & best friends and catching up on life; at the same time, turning 25 has brought about some moments of reflection. Am I truly satisfied that my life looks a lot different than those closest to me? Am I content that my dreams lead me away from the ones I love the most?
God wants you to get where God wants you to go more than
you want to get where God wants you to go.
Sometimes His itinerary entails coming face to face with a lion in a pit on a snowy day.
But when you find yourself in those challenging circumstances, you need to know that
God is ordering your footsteps.
You can have a sense of destiny because you know that
God has considered every contingency in your life.
And that sense of destiny, rooted in the sovereignty of God, helps you pray the unthinkable and attempt the impossible.
Destiny:
The inevitable or necessary fate to which a particular
person or thing is destined; one's lot.
Today I spent the day soaking up some time with Jesus; I needed to press the pause button on the hustle and bustle of life and just BE, so I went to the lake with a blank canvas, paint, worship music, a new book, and a blanket. It could have been a scene out of a very artistic movie ( I watched an "artsy" movie the other night, it was terrible by the way). I started reading a book about Benaiah chasing a lion into a pit on a snowy day; it talked a lot about the fact that some people flee from difficulty, while others pursue it and overcome the "lions" of their life. It pretty much rocked my world.
I found myself praying while staring at the lake, expecting for answers to jump out of the water along with the fish. Unfortunately, that didn't happen, but I did walk away from my date with Jesus with a much more settled heart.
I walked away with confidence knowing that God created me to change the world.
That's a bold statement, yea? But, it's true. I've always known it, but it's only now that I've come to truly believe it.
I remember a time in college that I came home for the weekend to spend some time with my parents. I was completely confused about the direction that my life was heading. I told my mom I'd been having headaches a lot and couldn't still my mind from over-thinking everything, so her and my dad came in my room to talk with me; they found me lying on my bed in the dark, weeping. Ah, tears spring to my eyes as I remember that moment. I was so lost. I was so heartbroken. I had such a desire to make a difference, yet no desire to commit to anything.
I was searching so badly for purpose for my life; I was so afraid of making the wrong decision about my future so I chose nothing. That nothing looked like partying, skipping class, and dating some not so great guys. I was terrified that pursuing the things that my heart desired would leave me alone and without a fool-proof plan, so I just wanted to be "normal"; I would be giving up a life that I could control, because the desires of my heart were way too big for my own hands to hold. It meant I would have to let it go.
Today, I realized that I'll never be a person that this world would call "normal"; I don't say that in a boastful way, but in a "holy moly God has crazy things for my life" way. I see things that need to change and I think they should actually change. I see injustice that should be stopped and I actually think it can be stopped. I believe that the Lord puts things within us and writes things on our hearts so we will act.
There's something within me that gets stirred up when I think of the number of women and children being trafficked in this very moment; there's this feisty spirit that spills out of my heart when it comes to injustice in the world. I'm no longer the lost college student lying weeping in the dark; I'm the woman that has found her voice, one that will make the stories of human trafficking victims known, one that will not relent until this injustice is stopped.
I won't go quietly, so you should probably join me on the journey :)
G42 Leadership will equip me to walk forth into what God has for me; He's created me to be a woman that agitates the waters of complacency and indifference. I'd truly appreciate your prayers and financial partnership in propelling the vision behind the27project forward.
You can donate 1 of 2 ways
By check: send a check to
G42
P.O. Box 130611
Houston, TX 77219-0611
write my name in the memo portion of the check
Online: www.g42leadershipacademy.org/donate
You can either donate monthly and type Stacey Compton in the Intern Section
or
You can click on Intern support
After you type in the amount you would like to donate, there will be a button that says "Name of Intern"
My goal for the month of March is to find one person each day that is willing to sponsor me for a day at G42, which would be $44.G42 Leadership Academy is a different organization than the World Race, so there is a different process to donating. I'm in the process of starting a new blog; I'll let everyone know the site when it is up and running.
It's already March 3rd, which means that I'm 3 days behind! If you are interested in being 1 of the 3 people that I need to find today, please leave a comment below or email me. Thank you for helping my dreams become a reality!
You can donate 1 of 2 ways
By check: send a check to
G42
P.O. Box 130611
Houston, TX 77219-0611
write my name in the memo portion of the check
Online: www.g42leadershipacademy.org/donate
You can either donate monthly and type Stacey Compton in the Intern Section
or
You can click on Intern support
After you type in the amount you would like to donate, there will be a button that says "Name of Intern"
As we're walking down the street back towards the tourist-ridden part of Siem Reap, the women continue to follow us, clinging to our sides and pleading for help. One woman in particular stayed close to my left side and matched me step for step, saying "just one dollar, you have money". I kept my eyes forward and responded, "I'm sorry but I really don't have any more money." And, I didn't. But, she didn't know that I had a credit card and even though it would charge me $10 to withdraw money, that I could go to the nearest ATM and withdraw what little amount of money I had left if I truly wanted to help her. You can judge me, it's ok. I judged myself.
If you're an avid reader of my blog, then you read a post called Just Look At Me a few weeks ago. It was about an experience I had when I got completely wrecked by seeing a mutilated man lying in the middle of a crowd; people continued to walk around him, without even glancing in his direction. It broke my heart. Yet, here I was, in the middle of Cambodia, lacking the courage to look a woman in the eye when I honestly told her I had no money with me. I cursed myself for being a hypocrite.
Although the woman eventually turned around, there was still a young girl following us; the tone she used when she spoke wasn't one that pleaded for pity, she had a whiny and angry way of asking for money. Suddenly, she looked at me and said, " You say you don't have money, but you're about to go eat lunch at one of these expensive restaurants [and by expensive, she meant $6]. How can you help one and not the other?" Bingo. That explained the angry way she spoke to us; she wasn't a fan of rich tourists that weren't interested in anything more than souvenirs or women for sex.
I immediately thought "Oh no you didn't girl"...but, oh yes, yes she did. Talk about a dagger to the heart. I looked at her and smiled. I liked her realness and the fact that she had a little spunk to her, so I began to ask her questions about herself. Her name was Soulee. She is 14. She has 4 brothers and sisters. She goes to school when she isn't begging for money on the street. And, she speaks English pretty well.
I asked if she was hungry and told her that we wouldn't give her any money, but we would take her to lunch. So, Mike, Dave, and I sat down to lunch with her; something about the way she sat so closely to my side and kissed my cheek made tears spring to my eyes. My heart was a mess in Thailand and Cambodia, so I would either cut a conversation short or struggle to hold back tears any time I interacted with a child. After eating lunch with us, Soulee hurried off to school and disappeared around the corner.
I immediately felt a sense of loss as she walked away. All of these thoughts began to flood my mind: will she have enough food to eat? will she be safe? what if a "kind" stranger lures her away, forcing her into a life of prostitution? Jesus, protect her. God, send your angels to guard her.
I mindlessly walked through the market, wandering from shop to shop, pretending to be interested in scarves and clothes. We eventually made our way back to the hotel, which is when I finally let the reality of the day settle within me. I had just spent the day with a child that, a few hours later, could very well be forced against the wall of the very alleys we had just walked through, raped against her will. I don't type these things for dramatic effect; I type them because it's truth. These things are happening daily around the world.
I went to my room, trying to pretend that things were great, until I began to share my heart with Kayla. I asked her questions that I'd been asking myself: Who's taking care of these children roaming the streets? Why are there so many women and children being trafficked here? This is NOT OK. Why aren't more people DOING SOMETHING?
Every time I meet someone that has started an organization, there always seems to be a moment that defined their decision to dive in completely. My moment was the day that I met a young girl named Soulee, who boldly asked me how I could help one person and not another. I'm diving in completely, praying that the love and glory of the Lord will be brought through the dreams He's placed in my heart.
I'll be attending a 6 month leadership school called G42 Leadership Academy in Mijas, Spain beginning in July. This is a school that will mentor and develop the dreams that are being sprung forth in my life. I will once again be raising support.
The total cost of this school is $8,000
$6,000 (room, board, mentors, food)
$2,000 (flights to and from Spain)
That's 26 weeks.
182 days.
If you'd like to join me in developing the27project more thoroughly, you can:
sponsor me for one day: $44
sponsor me for one week: $308
sponsor me for one month: $1,333
donate frequent flier miles for flights.
This organization is apart from the World Race, so you will need to go here: www.g42leadershipacademy.org/donatedonate
type: Stacey Compton in the intern section or write it in the memo portion of a check
Thank you for saying yes to the things that God is speaking through my life. Thank you for the support, love, and encouragement that has been offered during the past two years. The journey is just beginning...will you continue to follow along?
I'm not even sure where to begin this, so I'm just going to start typing and hope that I'm able to paint the story of an experience that is one of my dearest ones.
I do this thing where I forget how sovereign the Lord is sometimes. I'll get this crazy idea that I need to make things happen through my own accord, because then I can leave the trust and faith part out of following Jesus. I can do it on my own, because it's my life and I know best. Do you ever do that?
I'll be the first to admit that sometimes living a life of faith is hard, sometimes I question whether I'm truly making a diference, sometimes I wonder if it's worth it, sometimes I wonder if people see a dollar sign on my head and desire to run the other way because of the support I have to raise to sustain my life of ministry. When thoughts like those creep into my mind, I'll ask the Lord to help me get over the self-pity of wanting life to look a certain way and realize that it truly isn't about me, throw on my clothes, and prepare to tackle the day.
Then, I'll remember the path that He's taken me through. It's in those sweet moments of remembrance that I'm left completely in awe of my Father; I remember how He's orchestrated my life to truly give me the desires of my heart. I remember how He's faithfully provided provision for the things He's called me to do. And, the mind-set that I have of trying to orchestrate situations to provide provision for myself or make connections for myself, slowly fades away into a distant thought. And, I lean more into trusting that God is who He says He is. So, it's this balance of desiring to trust, failing at it, fully trusting, desiring to trust, failing at it, fully trusting...on and on and on.
All of this is a pre-face to the fact that I tried to orchestrate my time in Cambodia, only 4 days, but the Lord took the wheel and completely turned my world upside down.
The day started out as any other day; Mike and I made plans to have lunch in Siem Reap with one of the team leaders, David, that we had grown close with over the previous few months. I was overwhelmed by being in a city with such a high reputation for human trafficking, so I was thankful for a day of just being; no matter how hard I had tried the previous few days, each time I walked on the wooden floors of restaurants, I wondered if those very boards were the ceiling of rooms that held the freedom of women and children captured through human trafficking. Morbid, right? Yet, so true. Ignorance is not bliss. It's just ignorant.
So, here I am, trying to numb my mind and emotions to the many events going on around me, when a young boy holding an empty bottle grabs my arm and pleads with me to buy milk for his sister. I started a conversation with him, asking questions about his age, his family, and where he lives. Honestly, I can't remember his name, but I think he was 8 years old. I'm going to call him Nullah, because he bore a strong resemblance to the child in the movie Australia.
Nullah begins to guide us down an alley-way that leads to a market, all the while telling us more about himself. After a 5 or 10 minute walk, we cross the street to a small store; a woman is standing outside holding his sister, Nullah tells us it's not his mother, just a young woman that stays with them. We enter the store, they hand me the young sister, and Nullah hurries off to find the formula. The entire front of the store is covered with glass windows and doors, so you're able to see into the street as you're shopping. As we're purchasing the formula, I glance to the right. I'm taken aback by what I see: a crowd of women, all holding children, are surrounding the door-way of the store. My thoughts are oh, crap.
We hand Nelluh the formula, exit the store, and attempt to make our way through the crowd of women. They're all trying to get our attention, tugging on our clothes, walking closely by our sides, begging for food for their children.
If you're wondering what happened next, or who Soulee is and how she changed my life...you'll have to keep reading the next post :)
When I was in college, I thought I understood the concept of love. Love meant that I would be crazy about someone, so much that I would want to spend most of my time with them. And, if they reciprocated that feeling, then of course we were in "love".
When I went on the World Race, I realized that my thoughts on love were very misguided. I thought I needed to earn affection. I thought I had to be something that I wasn't to be loved. I thought I had to perform. I would like to say that I learned to love people during my 11 months on the Race, but I'd be lying. I learned to show love through smiles and to care about the needs of strangers, but when it came to the other Americans around me, I didn't learn to love them through the hard things. I thought I did. Man, did I think I knew what it meant to love people hard. But, more often that not, I would throw my hands in the air and retreat when things got hard. In all actuality, I learned to receive love more than to give it. I learned to accept kind words when I didn't believe them about myself. I learned that my voice actually does need to be heard. I learned that I am someone that is worth loving.
Fast-forward to the past 4 months of squad leading. My heart has been broken, restored, slightly cracked, restored, and completely won over by the 50 World Racers on B-squad. It hasn't been easy. It's actually been really hard. There were nights when tears streamed down my face from disappointment. There were days when anger stirred within me from frustration. Some days I've felt like the journey was completely uphill and I would never reach the top. Other days I felt like it was flying by entirely too fast and couldn't imagine leaving them. I've been stretched in ways that I never imagined, but ultimately they've taught me what it means to love with the entirety of my heart.
Love is believing. Believing the best in people, even when their actions say otherwise or they don't see the greatness that's within them. Believing in people's dreams (them believing in mine), and not letting them forget their passion.
Love is staying. Staying at the table, when there's conflict & misunderstanding, it would be so much easier to give up, say screw it, and walk away.
Love is fighting. Fighting for people, when they can't fight for themselves. Pulling things out of people, helping them recognize their value. Speaking words of truth, when they don't want to believe it. Fighting to have courage to speak truth to each other and have difficult conversations that bring a deeper understanding.
Love is grace. full of grace, oh so much grace.
Love is humility. Based on the humility of being able to admit when you're wrong & give or receive grace.
Love is trust. Trust that the people around you will still value you when you're a mess & don't have it all together. It's ok to not be ok.
Love is selflessness. Giving of yourself so others can become who they're supposed to be. Taking hits of frustration and stinging words of resistance to change. Pushing others forward.
Love is leaving. Definitely not the case in romantic love, obviously, but in the case of B-squad. Loving them meant leaving them. Being okay that my time of leadership is done and they are going to go deeper places and step into more places under new leadership.
To B squad: thank you for loving me, even when I was a hot mess :). Thank you for believing in the dreams that the Lord has given me, and for taking it a step further and actually being a part of the27project coming to fruition. Thank you for giving and receiving grace. You guys are so awesome and so loved!
Please continue to pray for B-squad. They just began their 5th month of ministry in Cambodia!
There's a lot I learned about myself during my time with B-squad, specifically during our time in Thailand and Cambodia. The Lord is leading me into a deeper level of brokenness for human trafficking, one that is impossible to ignore. I'll update you all soon about where the Lord is leading me next! Thank you for your prayers, support, and encouragement!
This song was a theme for me on my race, and it just recently made a re-appearance on B-squad. It stirs my heart. It's truth.
If there's one thing that I've learned during squad leading, it's the importance of rest. Not necessarily the physical kind of rest, but the spiritual kind. Most people I meet give me words about peace and how I bring a calmness to an environment; I've spent much of my life being the laid-back one that goes with the flow, hardly ever getting my feathers ruffled in situations.
So, imagine my surprise when, with two weeks left of squad leading, I began to feel a deep sense of restlessness. A restlessness of trying to figure out what the past 2 years of investing in the nations and the World Race have meant. A restlessness for what the future holds. A restlessness of just being over it. Over packing my life up every 5-7 days. Over sleeping in multiple beds a month, while trying to convince myself that home is a place that resides in the soul. Over eating unhealthily most of the time. Over it.
A few days ago, while visiting one of our all girl teams, I decided I needed some hardcore Jesus time. I hadn't been alone in awhile, nor had I felt like I'd had any down-time from being "responsible". So, I considered the options and chose the most alluring one; I decided to hike my little bum up a mountain, while wearing a dress and flip flops of course. I figured that God was always giving people huge revelations on the top of mountains so surely He had something lying in wait for me. With devotionals, my Bible, a pen and journal in tow, I hiked that mountain with relentless fervor. Surely if I could make it to the top then my spirit would feel at rest and the frustration from the weeks prior would just dissolve. Sounds simple enough, yeah?
False.
I finally stopped and sat down when my body felt tired, my breathing shallowed, and I felt like I had actually moved forward into a place that was different than the one I had left. I had moved into a place with different scenery, but my Spirit was still crying out for rest. It was then that I realized I had dropped my pen along the journey; so, I was incapable of doing the very thing that I had set out to do, journal while hearing from the Lord.
I began to listen to my ipod and let the love of the Father flow over me. Suddenly, an incredible shift in my Spirit happened. It had nothing to do with whereI was, and everything to do with who I believe the Lord is. Rest isn't something that you find on the shore of a beach or by sleeping for days, it's a place in your soul that only the Lord can fulfill. When we begin to operate out of ourselves, then restlessness takes over. When we begin to focus on self instead of the big picture, then restlessness takes over.
I don't claim to have the whole idea of rest figured out; I'm sure that I'll be learning what that means for me in the next few weeks. But, I do know that God promises that He'll give us rest because He created us to operate from a place of rest. Not a place of stress and frustration. So, trusting in anything less of that is doubting that He is who He says He is.
My life may seem a little crazy at times; that's because it is. Sometimes it's hard, but it's always worth it. The sweet thing about complete surrender is that no matter where I am physically, I'll always be found in the secret place of the Father. And that's more than enough. It really is!
I find it ironic that I started writing this 2 weeks ago when I was just beginning to grasp this idea, and finished writing it at 4am in the morning :). After traveling for 3 days, my body is jet-lagged, exhausted, and adjusting to being back in the States, but my heart and Spirit are in such a place of rest. Amazing how God does that! I'll be back in Texas on the 8th. Please be praying for my transition home and re-entry into America :).
I wrote in an earlier post about the dream that the Lord has given me, the27project. I look back at the past few weeks in awe of an incredible Father; He has orchestrated so many details for my path to cross that of others with the same heartbeat as mine. The same thing that stirs life within them: to end human trafficking, all the while releasing joy into the nations.
You see, I had an idea of how I would find the orphanages that the27project would be raising money for; I researched, emailed, and made phone calls to well-developed orphanages that I was confident would be good stewards of funds that are raised through the27project. I had planned to travel around Cambodia for a few weeks after transitioning out of leadership for B-squad and meet with different directors of orphanages.
But, then God began to move in unbelievable ways. When presented with the opportunity to fly to Atlanta and spend time with a few of the World Race staff in Georgia, my initial response was to say no. After all, God had promised me that if I was obedient in squad leading then He would give me the desires of my heart, which I concluded to be His gift of ending these 4 months of leading in Thailand and Cambodia, thus giving me the opportunity to travel and meet with orphanages.
I had put so much prayer, effort, and planning into where I would travel in Cambodia, but, just like that, the Lord gave me a swift kick in the feet and took out all of my plans. All of a sudden, I felt the need to return to the very place that this crazy journey started, in order to thank the people that have poured life into me during the past 2 years. So, my traveling plans in Cambodia ceased to exist and plans were made for me to fly back to Georgia in a few weeks.
Here's the part where God REALLY began to move, in ridiculous, fall on my face in awe of His goodness ways.
Connection #1: Khaodee Orphanage in Maechan, Thailand. This orphanage was unheard of by me until a week ago; myself and the other 4 squad leaders, (we are traveling with the 3 new SQL's that will take our places in leadership next week), visited one of our all girls teams at this ministry site. The vision of this ministry is amazing; their heart is to take children in from the Hill Tribes to feed, clothe, nurture them spiritually, and provide them with an education.
You see, the Hill Tribe people aren't considered citizens of well, anywhere. The government only acknowledges their existence if they are able to graduate from University, proving they will be productive members of society. This, plus their level of poverty, puts these children at a high-risk of being trafficked into brothels in Thailand, Cambodia, Laos, and Burma. If you don't technically exist because the government has no record of you, then who will look for you if you go missing? No one. Easy target for traffickers.
Khaodee is providing a safe place for them to live and learn about the Lord; also, the orphanage has to buy school supplies for the children, which are normally provided by the public schools. This is because the schools are pre-dominantly buddhist and want to make it hard for Christian children to gain a quality education. Jacked up, right?
I'll post a few of the children's stories soon.
Connection #2:
A pastor in Laos. I'm unable to share specifics about this ministry because Laos is a closed country, but a pastor has continued to take in street children, even when the only thing he can do is rely on the Lord to bring food for them; the space in his house is becoming tighter each day, while the number of children is increasing weekly.
Connection #3:
Josh and Bri Rene. I randomly read Josh and Bri's blog about having a heart for Cambodia last summer when I returned from the World Race. I emailed them and set up a skype while they were in their last month in India on the race. They currently live in Gainesville, GA and are working for AIM, while continuing to pray and plan about moving to Cambodia. Here's a little about their vision for Cambodia:
"Our names are Josh and Briana Rene. We are World Race Alumni and we represent Faithful Family Children's Home in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. We are raising funds to accomplish four different goals on site for this amazing family. We desire to see clean water become a reality to the entire home, the children's school fees, food, clothing, and basic medical care to be covered anually, and lastly funds collected to purchase a playing/planting field for the home to become more self sustaining. Bri and I hope to be back in the field in early 2013."
These are the facts. These are the needs. It's no longer about sad infomercials, statistics, or pictures...these are the lives of children that have the ability to influence these nations. Will you act? Wherever you are in the world on January 30th, join us on a run or prayer walk to pray for the strongholds of the human trafficking industry to be broken, specifically in the nations of Thailand and Cambodia. Also, you can donate here to meet their physical needs.
For those of you that are subscribed to my blog, I realize that I've been blowing up your Inbox the past few days. But, you REALLY need to read this one!
The27project [the dream God gave me for an organization that fights human trafficking] will be having their first run on January 30th. I'll be writing a blog soon about the connections with a few different orphanages that God has given me the past few weeks, but now I ask that you'd consider sponsoring me to run in the 10K.
$5, $10, $15...it doesn't matter the amount. There's an orphanage in Thailand that's in dire need of food that can provide meals to 100 children for an entire month for $1,000! YOU CAN HELP MAKE THIS HAPPEN. I've met these children and they are simply amazing.
Another pastor in Laos [a closed country] is struggling to provide food and housing for street children that keep showing up on his doorstep; the pastor currently has 15 children living in a 2 bedroom shack.
